What Happens When You Let Go of Perfectionism? A Burnout Therapist Weighs In

As a psychologist in Denver who works with high-achieving professionals, I see perfectionism almost daily in my therapy practice. On the surface, perfectionism can look like success: the drive to excel, high standards, and careful attention to detail. But over time, it often reveals itself as one of the biggest contributors to anxiety, exhaustion, and burnout.

Many of my clients come in saying, “I’ve built a great career, but I feel like I’m never enough,” or “No matter what I achieve, I can’t relax.” If that resonates with you, you may already know how much perfectionism can cost your well-being.

So, what happens when you start letting go of perfectionism? Research—and countless hours of sitting with clients in burnout therapy—suggests you don’t lose your edge. Instead, you gain freedom, clarity, and resilience.

The Hidden Toll of Perfectionism

Perfectionism and Anxiety

Perfectionism is strongly linked to anxiety disorders. A 2016 meta-analysis in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that perfectionistic concerns—fear of mistakes, self-criticism, and doubts about performance—are among the strongest predictors of anxiety symptoms.

The more you strive to avoid mistakes, the more hypervigilant your brain becomes. Over time, this state of “always on” fuels a range of physical issues, like sleep problems, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and panic-like symptoms.

Perfectionism and Burnout

Research also shows that perfectionism increases vulnerability to burnout, particularly emotional exhaustion. In Christina Maslach’s framework, burnout stems from chronic workplace stress, but perfectionism makes recovery even harder. Perfectionists often skip breaks, avoid asking for help, and push beyond healthy limits—all of which accelerate exhaustion.

In my Denver-based online-therapy practice, I often hear from professionals—attorneys, physicians, business leaders—who look accomplished on the outside but describe feeling like “a shell” of themselves inside.

What Letting Go of Perfectionism Really Means

Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean lowering your standards or giving up ambition. It means loosening the grip of unrealistic expectations and self-criticism so that you can perform, connect, and rest in a healthier way.

When my clients begin this process, they often notice:

• More energy (because they’re no longer spending hours on small details that don’t matter)

• Less fear of failure (because mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities, not disasters)

• Stronger relationships (because they’re less irritable and more emotionally available)

• Increased creativity (because they’re willing to take risks rather than stay stuck in rigid rules)

In short: you don’t become “less” when you let go of perfectionism. You become more whole.

Tools for Loosening the Grip of Perfectionism

Perfectionism isn’t just a thought pattern—it’s a way of relating to yourself. That’s why evidence-based therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are especially powerful. Here are four ACT tools I often teach my clients:

1. Acceptance: Making Space for Imperfection

Instead of fighting or suppressing self-critical thoughts, ACT encourages making space for them. Imagine perfectionism as a pushy coworker who constantly points out your flaws. Acceptance means acknowledging that voice without letting it dictate your every move.

🎈Try this practice:

Next time you notice a perfectionistic thought (“If I don’t get this just right, I’ll fail”), say to yourself: “I notice I’m having the thought that I’ll fail.” This small shift creates distance between you and the thought, making it easier to move forward without obeying it.

2. Mindfulness & Present-Moment Awareness

Perfectionism often pulls people into the future (“What if I fail?”) or the past (“I should have done better”). Mindfulness grounds you in the here and now.

🎈Practice idea:

Set a timer for one minute. Notice your breath, your body in the chair, and the sounds around you. When perfectionistic thoughts arise, gently bring your focus back. Over time, this strengthens your ability to redirect attention and quiet the anxious mental chatter.

3. Cognitive Defusion: Loosening the Grip of Thoughts

Defusion means recognizing that thoughts are just words or images in your mind, not absolute truths.

🎈Example exercise:

Take a perfectionistic thought— “I’m not good enough.” Repeat it aloud quickly for 30 seconds: “Not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.” Notice how the phrase starts to sound like nonsense, just a string of sounds. This helps reveal the thought’s lack of inherent power.

4. Self-as-Context: Seeing the Bigger Picture

Perfectionists often fuse their identity with achievement. When performance slips, they feel like they are a failure. Self-as-context is a reminder that you are more than your successes or mistakes—you are the observer of your experiences.

🎈Therapeutic metaphor:

Think of yourself as the sky. Thoughts, feelings, and self-criticism are passing weather—sometimes stormy, sometimes calm. But the sky itself remains vast and unchanged. When you connect to that perspective, you can weather perfectionism without being defined by it.

Real-World Example from Burnout Therapy in Denver

A client I’ll call “Samantha,” an attorney on the “partner track,” came to therapy because she was exhausted and constantly anxious. She described staying up until 2 a.m., perfecting briefs, double- and triple-checking every detail.

Through ACT-based work, Samantha learned to practice mindfulness breaks during her day and defusion strategies for her self-critical thoughts. She also clarified her values—integrity, fairness, connection—and began setting boundaries around work hours to pursue meaningful experiences and relationships outside of work.

Within months, she reported not only lower anxiety but also greater satisfaction with her work and more presence with her kids. “I still care about quality,” she told me, “but I’m not crushed when something isn’t flawless.”

Through deeper work, we came to see her perfectionism as a pattern that was modeled to her and reinforced across many important contexts, but which did not serve her or her authentic self. This gave her space to choose “imperfection” more often.

The Courage to Choose “Good Enough”

One of the hardest (and most healing) steps in letting go of perfectionism is practicing “good enough.”

That might mean:

• Sending the email without rereading it ten times

• Delegating a task, even if someone else won’t do it your way

• Allowing a workout to be shorter when you’re exhausted

• Saying no to an extra project so you can rest

These small acts of imperfection are powerful—they build self-trust and reduce the grip of anxiety.

Why Therapy For Burnout and Perfectionism Helps

Letting go of perfectionism isn’t just about willpower; it’s about learning new ways to relate to your mind and body.

In therapy, you can:

• Identify perfectionistic patterns rooted in past experiences or family dynamics

• Learn therapist-approved strategies for managing anxiety and burnout

• Build accountability and encouragement for practicing new behaviors

• Reconnect with values that go beyond achievement

Whether you’re an executive, student, or caregiver in the Denver metro area, therapy provides a safe space to explore these changes and move toward a life guided by meaning rather than fear. If you’re outside of Colorado, convenient virtual therapy is available to serve you.

You Can Be Successful Without Perfectionism—Final Thoughts From a Burnout Therapist in Denver, CO

Perfectionism may have helped you achieve success, but it can also steal joy, rest, and peace of mind. When you start letting go—even just a little—you don’t lose your edge. You gain freedom from constant self-criticism, space to connect with others, and the ability to live in line with what truly matters.

If you find yourself exhausted from chasing impossible standards, therapy can help you build a new relationship with yourself—one rooted in compassion, presence, and resilience. Start working with an experienced burnout therapist in Denver to support your journey toward overcoming perfectionism. I invite you to email me at jennifer@drolsonmadden.com, call 720-588-3823, or fill out my convenient contact form.

Let Go of Perfectionism Through Online Burnout Therapy in Denver

Letting go of perfectionism can feel both liberating and terrifying—but it’s often the first step toward real healing. Online therapy for burnout gives you the tools to release impossible standards, ease the pressure you put on yourself, and create space for balance, confidence, and self-compassion.

Through my Denver-based telehealth practice, I work with clients to uncover the roots of perfectionism, reduce anxiety, and build strategies that support both emotional and physical well-being. Together, we’ll practice techniques you can apply in your daily life to quiet self-criticism, manage stress more effectively, and begin living with greater clarity and ease. If you’re ready to take the next step, here’s how to get started:

1️⃣ To share your story and explore how burnout therapy can support you, schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

2️⃣ Partner with a licensed online psychologist in Denver, CO who understands the link between perfectionism, stress, and burnout—and can guide you with compassion and expertise.

3️⃣ Learn practical therapist-approved strategies to let go of rigid expectations, reduce anxiety, and create a healthier, more sustainable way of living.

Other Therapy Services I Provide Virtually in Colorado

Letting go of perfectionism is not about lowering your standards. It’s about freeing yourself from constant pressure and exhaustion. Through burnout therapy, I help clients release rigid expectations, find balance, and build healthier ways to succeed without sacrificing their well-being.

While helping clients overcome perfectionism and burnout is a central part of my work, my Colorado telehealth practice also offers support for a wide range of mental health concerns. I provide individual psychotherapy for anxiety disorders, trauma recovery, relationship difficulties, and major life transitions. I also offer diagnostic screening and psychological assessments to meet your unique needs.

I invite you to explore my website for more details about my services, read helpful insights on my mental health blog, and reach out when you’re ready to begin your journey toward lasting emotional wellness. You can also download my free e-book and follow me on several social media platforms, including X, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

About the Author

Dr. Jennifer Olson-Madden is a licensed psychologist, specializing in helping clients release perfectionism and the cycle of stress it often creates. Drawing from approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and mindfulness-based strategies, she empowers people to let go of rigid expectations and embrace a more balanced, fulfilling life. With more than 20 years of experience treating anxiety, burnout, trauma, and chronic stress—and over 15 years of practice in Denver, CO—Dr. Olson-Madden brings both professional expertise and lived understanding to her work. She not only teaches these principles in therapy but also integrates them into her own life, modeling what it means to pursue progress with self-compassion instead of perfection.