Have I Fallen Out of Love, or Am I Just Stressed? Understanding the Difference and What to Do Next

At some point in nearly every long-term relationship, people ask themselves: “Do I still love my partner, or am I just too stressed to feel it?” The truth is, stress and burnout can mimic the same feelings we often interpret as falling out of love—emotional distance, irritability, lack of desire, and decreased joy in being together.

Understanding the difference is crucial. According to marriage and family therapy (MFT) research, unresolved stress spills into couple dynamics, sometimes disguising itself as relationship dissatisfaction. On the other hand, genuine disconnection does happen—and knowing what’s underneath your struggles can help you take meaningful action.

How Does Stress Impact Relationships?

Stress doesn’t stay neatly in one part of your life. When you’re overwhelmed by burnout, caregiving, or work deadlines, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. Instead of connection, your body prioritizes efficiency and defense.

Common ways stress shows up in relationships:

• Emotional withdrawal: Feeling “numb” or too tired to engage.

• Irritability or short temper: Snapping at your partner over small things.

• Decreased intimacy: Low libido, avoidance of closeness, or lack of affection.

• Negative lens: Seeing your partner primarily through frustration or disappointment.

Research from The Gottman Institute shows that couples under chronic stress experience more conflict, less repair, and often misinterpret neutral behaviors as negative. In other words, stress alters not only your behavior but also how you perceive your partner.

Signs It Might Be Stress, Not Falling Out of Love

Ask yourself: are these patterns present in your relationship?

1. Life circumstances explain the distance. If you’re in a demanding season—new parenthood, high-pressure job, caregiving—stress may be draining your emotional reserves.

2. You still value the partnership. Even if you feel distant, you still want your partner’s support or miss them when you’re apart.

3. Relief restores connection. On vacation, during a slow weekend, or after rest, you notice sparks of connection returning.

4. Your irritability is global. You’re frustrated with everything and everyone, not just your partner.

In these cases, stress management and relational repair may be more effective than concluding the relationship has run its course. Searching out a Denver therapy clinic that offers care for both stress and relationship challenges can be invaluable.

Signs It May Be More Than Stress

Of course, sometimes relationship dissatisfaction stems from deeper issues. Consider whether you resonate with these indicators:

• Loss of respect: You no longer admire or respect your partner’s choices or character.

• Consistent indifference: Even during calm or enjoyable periods, you don’t feel connected.

• Avoidance of growth together: You find yourself more invested in imagining life apart than rebuilding together.

• Ongoing unresolved hurts: Betrayal, chronic conflict, or lack of safety that hasn’t been addressed in therapy.

Marriage and family therapists often note that when the desire to repair disappears, couples are no longer simply stressed—they may be emotionally exhausted and disconnected.

Common Challenges Couples Face Under Stress

1. Unequal Stress Loads

One partner may carry more domestic, financial, or emotional responsibilities. Resentment grows when balance feels impossible.

2. Communication Breakdown

Stress triggers fight-or-flight responses, making calm conversation difficult. Misunderstandings quickly escalate into arguments.

3. Loss of Shared Rituals

Date nights, shared meals, or evening check-ins disappear under pressure, leaving couples without “glue moments.”

4. Burnout and Intimacy

Burnout has a mind-body connection and often reduces physical desire. This can lead partners to misinterpret it as rejection or a lack of love.

Steps to Manage Stress and Rebuild Connection

1. Differentiate Stress from Relationship Dissatisfaction

Pause and ask: “Would I feel this way if I weren’t exhausted?” Keeping a stress journal can help identify whether outside pressures are influencing how you view your partner.

2. Reintroduce Micro-Connections

Couples therapy research shows that small, consistent gestures rebuild trust more than grand efforts. Try:

• 2-minute daily check-ins (“How’s your heart today?”)

• Gratitude practices (“One thing I appreciate about you is…”)

• Short touches—holding hands, a morning hug

3. Practice Stress Management Individually

It’s not only about the relationship. Tools like mindfulness, CBT strategies for reframing thoughts, or ACT-based values work can help you regulate your own stress, making space for closeness.

4. Establish Couple Rituals

Set aside small, predictable rituals of connection: weekly coffee together, Sunday walks, or end-of-day check-ins without screens. These anchor relationships during chaotic seasons.

5. Seek Therapy Early

Couples therapy (including Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, or Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy) provides tools to:

• Recognize negative cycles

• Rebuild trust and safety

• Improve emotional and physical intimacy

• Create stress-resilient communication patterns

Many couples wait too long, hoping things will resolve on their own. Research shows that early intervention for relationship burnout or disconnection leads to more positive outcomes.

Case Example: Stressed or Falling Out of Love?

Case vignette: Maria and James, both professionals, came to therapy worried they had “fallen out of love.” Maria worked long hours, while James managed household tasks and felt unseen. They argued frequently about chores and intimacy.

In therapy, it became clear that stress—not lack of love—was the root issue. By dividing responsibilities more fairly, practicing mindfulness, and scheduling weekly connection rituals, Maria and James reported feeling “like partners again” within months.

When to Consider Ending the Relationship

Not every relationship can—or should—be saved. Therapy can also provide clarity if:

• Trust has been irreparably broken.

• There is ongoing emotional or physical harm.

• One or both partners no longer wish to invest in repair.

Sometimes, the healthiest path forward is separation with compassion, especially when stress is masking deeper incompatibilities.

From Uncertainty to Clarity: Final Thoughts From a Licensed Psychologist in Denver, CO

Asking yourself, “Am I falling out of love or just stressed?” is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign of awareness. Relationships naturally ebb and flow, and stress can easily obscure genuine connection. The good news is that with intentional effort and therapeutic support, many couples rediscover love once stress is addressed.

If you’re feeling stuck, therapy offers a safe, guided space to untangle stress from relational disconnection and chart your next step forward—whether that’s healing together or finding clarity about moving on. As a licensed burnout therapist in Denver, I can help you differentiate between stress and fading love and guide you on your next steps.

I invite you to get in touch with me today:

💻Through email at jennifer@drolsonmadden.com

📱By phone at 720-588-3823

Heal Your Relationship With Burnout Therapy in Denver

Feeling disconnected in your relationship can be scary, especially when you’re unsure if stress, burnout, or something deeper is driving that distance. Stress and burnout therapy can help you slow down, untangle overwhelming emotions, and understand whether chronic stress is clouding how you feel about love and connection.

In my Colorado-based online practice, I help clients navigate the complex overlap of stress, burnout, anxiety, and relationship challenges. Together, we’ll uncover what’s fueling your emotional exhaustion, learn tools to restore balance, and create space for clarity so you can move forward with confidence—whether that means strengthening your relationship or better understanding your own needs. If you’re ready to start feeling like yourself again, here’s how we can begin:

1️⃣ Share what you’re experiencing and explore how therapy can help you once you schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

2️⃣ Work with a licensed online psychologist in Denver, CO who understands the impact of chronic stress and burnout on love and emotional connection.

3️⃣ Learn therapist-approved strategies to manage stress, reduce anxiety, and find clarity about your feelings.

Online Therapy in Colorado: Other Services I Provide

When chronic stress begins to cloud your emotions and relationships, burnout therapy can help you step back, regain perspective, and rebuild emotional clarity. Through this work, clients often find relief from constant overwhelm, learn healthier ways to cope, and feel more connected to themselves and the people they love.

While helping people manage stress and recover from burnout is a central part of my work, my Denver-based online therapy practice also supports clients through a range of mental health concerns. I offer specialized therapy for anxiety disorders to help quiet racing thoughts and reduce worry, trauma-informed care for healing from past experiences, and guidance through major life transitions such as career changes or identity shifts. Many clients also seek help navigating relationship challenges, where we work together to improve communication, repair trust, and strengthen connections.

Alongside teletherapy sessions, I provide diagnostic screening and psychological assessments. You can learn more about my services by exploring my website, reading practical resources on my mental health blog, and connecting when you’re ready to take the next step toward healing and resilience. You’re also welcome to download my free e-book and follow me on X, Instagram, and LinkedIn for ongoing support and tools for emotional well-being.

About the Author

Dr. Jennifer Olson-Madden is a licensed psychologist in Denver, CO, who specializes in helping individuals manage stress, overcome burnout, and find clarity in their relationships. Drawing on evidence-based practices such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and mindfulness, she helps clients untangle the emotional weight of stress so they can feel grounded, confident, and clear about their next steps. With more than 20 years of experience treating burnout, anxiety, trauma, and chronic stress, Dr. Olson-Madden combines professional expertise with a compassionate, practical approach to therapy. She not only teaches these skills but integrates them into her own life—empowering clients to live with resilience, authenticity, and self-compassion.