Clarifying Your Core Values in Anxiety Therapy: A Guide to Living with Purpose and Less Stress
- jennifer olson-madden
- Jul 11
- 4 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
In a world that constantly pulls our attention in a hundred different directions, it’s easy to feel untethered, reactive, or overwhelmed. For high-achieving professionals especially, anxiety can creep in as you juggle responsibilities, perfectionism, or a sense that you're "never doing enough." But there’s one powerful tool that helps anchor you when life feels chaotic: your values.
At my online therapy practice in Denver, we use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as a primary approach to anxiety therapy. ACT shows us that values are central to living a meaningful, intentional life—especially in the face of anxiety or burnout. This blog will explore what values are, how to clarify them, and how to use them to guide committed action and emotional well-being.
What Are Values, Really?
Values aren’t goals. They’re not something you achieve, check off, or measure.
Instead, values are ongoing directions for how you want to show up in the world. They reflect your deeper desires about the kind of person you want to be, the qualities you want to embody, and the life you want to build—regardless of how you feel in the moment.
For example:
A goal might be to get a promotion.
A value might be to grow, contribute, or act with integrity.
The beauty of values is that you can act on them anytime, even during stress or uncertainty. You can’t always control outcomes, but you can choose how you move toward what matters.
Why Are Values Important for Managing Anxiety and Stress?
When anxiety hits, the mind tends to narrow. It scans for threats, gets stuck in "what-if" loops, and tries to avoid discomfort at all costs. This can lead to avoidance behaviors, indecision, or burnout from over-functioning.
Living from your values gives you an anchor amid the noise. Values provide clarity when your mind is spinning, and motivation when fear says, “Don’t bother.”
Research on ACT shows that values-based action increases resilience, improves well-being, and reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression—even if those symptoms don’t disappear entirely (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012). By shifting focus from eliminating discomfort to living meaningfully in the presence of it, you build a life that feels more fulfilling—and less reactive.
How to Clarify Your Values (Without Overthinking It)
If you’ve never sat down to name your values, it can feel vague or overwhelming. Here are some steps to help:
1. Start with the Categories
Think about these life domains:
Relationships
Work and career
Health and well-being
Personal growth
Community or spirituality
Leisure and creativity
Ask: What kind of person do I want to be in this area?
2. Use Prompts Like These
Who do I admire and why?
When do I feel most like myself?
What do I want people to remember about me?
These questions can lead you to value-laden words like compassion, freedom, authenticity, courage, balance, or service.
3. Sort and Prioritize
Choose 3–5 core values to focus on for now. These aren’t permanent—they can evolve—but narrowing helps you get specific with action.
4. Check for the "Shoulds"
Sometimes we adopt values that were conditioned by family, culture, or fear of judgment. Ask: Is this truly mine—or something I feel I’m supposed to value? Values that are internally owned create energy and motivation. "Shoulds" tend to generate pressure or guilt.
Using Values to Guide Committed Action
Clarifying values is step one. Step two is using those values to shape what you do—even when it’s hard.
This is what ACT calls committed action: taking small, meaningful steps aligned with your values, regardless of how anxious or uncertain you feel.
For example:
If you value authenticity, a committed action might be saying no to a project that doesn’t align with your goals—even if it feels awkward.
If you value connection, it might be initiating a hard conversation with a friend—even if your anxiety says to avoid it.
If you value growth, it might be applying for a new job, speaking up in a meeting, or taking a class you’ve been avoiding.
Committed action isn’t about being fearless—it’s about being values-driven.
Values and Anxiety: A Healthier Relationship
Values don’t erase anxiety—but they change your relationship with it.
When you’re focused solely on avoiding discomfort, anxiety becomes the boss. But when you're focused on values, anxiety becomes background noise—not the thing that drives the bus.
Here’s what that shift might sound like:
❌ “I can’t do this—it’s too stressful.”
✅ “This is hard, but it matters to me to show up with courage.”
❌ “What if I fail?”
✅ “Even if I fail, I want to honor my value of learning and growth.”
ACT teaches us that meaningful action often comes with discomfort—and that’s okay. It’s not a sign of failure. It’s a sign you’re expanding your life in ways that matter.
Your Next Step: A Values Reflection Exercise
Take 10 quiet minutes today and reflect on these three prompts:
In moments when I felt most alive, what was I doing?
What qualities do I most admire in others—and why?
If I could live one week fully aligned with my values, what would I do differently?
Then, write down one value that feels most important to you right now—and one small action you can take this week to live it out.
Ready to Clarify Your Values and Reduce Stress In Therapy for Anxiety?
If you're struggling with anxiety, burnout, or a sense of disconnection, therapy can help you return to what matters. As a licensed psychologist in Denver, CO, I offer virtual therapy to adults across the state and in 42 states nationwide. Together, we’ll clarify your values, develop tools to manage stress, and create a more intentional life.
About the Author
Dr. Jennifer Olson-Madden is a licensed psychologist in Denver, Colorado, specializing in anxiety, burnout, and perfectionism in high-achieving professionals. Using evidence-based modalities like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and mindfulness-based approaches, she helps clients build psychological flexibility and reconnect with what matters most. Her work is grounded in the belief that healing starts with self-compassion, values-aligned action, and living intentionally—even in the presence of stress.
Learn more about her approach and services at www.drolsonmadden.com
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